Please read this, slow, and in a calm sense of being……

It takes courage to be true to yourself. Staying true means staying true to what you love, not what you fear.

What you fear, you chatter about in your head. When you stop the chatter and discipline your mind to be silent, what you fear will fall away, and what you love becomes your life.

Be still in your emptiness, little bits at a time.

The transformation happens when you put away your childish ways, and stop narrating the picture show you play in.

Mature thinking is done by a disciplined mind. This is true freedom. It is where your passion hides.

Anyone can do this.

Once you become empty of all concepts, and labels, you stop chasing, and you stop running away from.

You have no void to fill.

You are just here, present in this moment, allowing life to unfold with no need to control its outcome.

The freedom from that alone, is overwhelming.

The constant tension in your body fades. Your body is granted permission to take deep, and slow breaths.

When I first got a taste of this freedom, it seemed like a huge dopamine rush.

It was like no other pleasure I had experienced.

I didnt know what silence felt like before that first moment of it.

My chatter was never ending.

I barely noticed the ongoings outside my reality anymore.

Life had become so overwhelming that I couldn’t label all the information coming in fast enough.

I knew something was not quite right about the constant battering of thoughts.

I didnt know that I was merely keeping my mind busy, but somehow, I suspected it going on.

I even thought I must re live my past traumas to be able to move forward.

What I didnt realize is that I was unconsciously, dealing with my traumas through a child’s eyes still.

That part of thinking never had a chance to grow up.

Because I was using child techniques such as hiding away from, and distracting myself, I stayed on this hampster wheel, doing the same thing over and over, pretending I was making progress.

Eventually, I taught myself to think differently by listening to mindful people I was drawn to.

People who have wonderful peace, and stillness.

I understand that its not that they are not touched by the atrocities of the world, but they have a way of letting these things enter their minds, feel what ever comes, bit not let it stick.

I was jealous of these people in the beginning, for having something I wanted so desperately.

I didnt know that they had to come to this in the exact way that I have to.

There isn’t a secret key that is only available to some but not others.

It’s simply becoming still.

I am working towards this emptying of the mind.

I will work at it until the silence no longer gets interrupted by my minds chatter. Changes continue to happen, and I discover clarity whereas all seemed to be chaos at one time.

I have found immense peace, and can feel immediately when others are struggling with what I once did.

Not all yet, but I spend much of my day being very aware of all there is to notice and appreciate, even simple things.

Many more changes have happened. To many to write here.

I just wanted you to know that there is peace and stillness to be had, even if you have to steal away a few moments of the day just to have them. -JNagle